


A Hitch in His Day

by tigersilver



Category: Pet Shop of Horrors
Genre: And when I say 'Pets's I meant something completely different naturally, Cake, M/M, Pets, Tea, UST, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Very Pretty Mysterious Man Teasing Hardboiled Hardheaded Businessman Unmercifully, so much UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:48:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27218188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigersilver/pseuds/tigersilver
Summary: Pairing: The Count and...?Rated: G for total lack of obligatory sex; R for intent to sin.Author's Notes: I've had a long (l...o...n...g) dry spell in which I have written absolutely nothing worthwhile...So, this one I seem to like, finally. I had fun writing it, instead of suffering through it. I hope you like it, too.And this is perhaps the first (or second, who knew?) in the romantic saga of the Elder Count, he known as 'Q-chan' and Taizuu, a Tokyo businessman and landlord.
Relationships: Count D/Lau Wu-Fei "Taizu"
Kudos: 5





	A Hitch in His Day

When Taizuu burst into the Shop on the 13th floor, the Count was not in his usual chair, serving tea to deluded clients, nor was he on the brocade couch, surrounded by his questionable pets.

Instead, there was a stranger there, one who wore the Count's face with ease, like enough so that the young boss was fooled for a bare second, till he quickly realized this man was not his target.

Still, it was _strange_. What was a man who looked just like the Count doing sitting the Count's chair, in the Count's Shop?

_His_ shop, rather! He _owned_ it, even if he didn't own its contents – every stick and stone and concrete block of this building! And no one should be impersonating his Count – _one of his tenants, that is-_ like this; it was entirely unacceptable!

" _Who're you_!?" he demanded, screeching to a flustered halt before the tea table. Various cats and dogs looked up, and a zebra turned his head inquiringly. "Where's the Count?"

"I am, of course, right here, dear sir. And how may I be service today? You desire a Pet, perhaps? We have all manner of exotic-"

"Cut the crap— _you're_ not the Count! _Where is he_?!"

"Indeed I _am_ , young man, I assure you. But…perhaps you seek my grandson?"

The doppelganger rose gracefully, golden eyes alight with an unholy amusement that made Taizuu seethe even in the midst of his confusion, and circled round the low table, stopping not even a hand's breadth from Woo Fei's face. Taizuu took a half-step, twisting sideways, and then back, desperately attempting to regain his personal space. But the Count look-alike only followed him, his dancing movements as he feinted left and then forward making his form-fitting clothes swish faintly. He wore a silk cheongsam embroidered with pale dragons in lavender and silver thread, which perfectly set off the blue-black of his night-dark hair, and he carried an enormous violet-hued fan in one pale hand.

The fan's marabou edge tickled Taizuu's nose something fierce as he lurched backward again, stumbling.

" _Whoa_! What d'you mean, _you're_ the Count? D's got different eyes – and he's shorter!"

Taizuu edged away. The man smiled again, wine red lips bowed like an Oriental cupid's and thin brows quirked at Woo Fei's capering.

"So, you call him 'D' already? _Such_ familiarity."

" _Wha_ -!" Taizuu blushed at the intimation, heart pounding.

This Count, like Taizuu's tenant, was quite attractive for a man, alarmingly so. Taizuu stared, nonplused, uncertain of how to get the man to back off. The imposter suddenly raised a well-manicured hand and gave him a gentle, unexpected push. Taizuu landed on the sofa now positioned just behind his knees with a thump, nearly speechless with rage, glasses glinting in the morning light at he glared upwards.

"Hey! What are you doing!? Don't touch me!" Taizuu protested, but the man was already seated next to him, intimately, and he could not help but gulp in a startled breath of the man's scent. Yes, yes - it was the Count's, alright, but just a little off—stronger, perhaps, or something….gardenias? Lemon?

Taizuu closed his eyes for a moment; his head was reeling.

This was too weird—the so-called Count was _too damned close_!

"Young D is not shorter, I'm afraid," the Count mused, shifting closer still. "That must be only _your_ perception, young man. We are the same height; exactly so. But the color of his eyes is indeed different from mine – he bears his father's mark," Count D went on to smugly assure his captive, who spluttered in response.

"But-but- _but_!" Woo Fei turned to fully face the fake Count, aghast. "Why are _you_ here, instead? Did D _leave_?"

"Oh, you _are_ very concerned with him, I see," the Count chuckled and pressed closer, teasing. "Is he aware of your feelings, young man?"

"F-feelings!? What do you mean, _feelings_? He's my tenant, damn it—I'm only here to collect the rent!"

"Oh, this?" The ersatz Count practically climbed into Taizuu's lap to offer him an envelope, whisked from its hiding place in a silk sleeve. The landlord grabbed at it, rearing back. This man—so much like the Count— _this_ _man_ was far too close – he could _feel_ the burn up and down the side of his body, right though the cloth!

It was beyond appalling that he could possibly consider this silk-decked, bejeweled and makeup-wearing man even vaguely attractive! Those lips must be painted on, they were so red – like a harlot's!

But there was twitch between his suited thighs, nonetheless, and his heart hadn't settled down; no, not one bit. Taizuu hauled in a hard-won breath, feeling strangled.

"That was what you were looking for, young man? Only that? Are you sure I cannot do anything else for you..?" The Count smiled up at Woo Fei, golden eyes gleaming and half-closed under camellia-pale lids, perfect brows arched inquiringly.

"Ah…um. 'Young man?'" Taizuu struggled to frame his inquiry when D frowned in query, casting his mind about for something to say that would distract him from this –this outright _flirting_!

"You keep saying 'young man,' but you're no older than I am, whoever the hell you are, so _why_? D can't be your grandson – you're just too young! Don't you dare pull my leg like that, _liar_!"

It was too true – this stranger who claimed to be the Count could be no more than thirty, at the very outside, _his_ age. This fake Count couldn't actually be inferring that he was the real D's elder? Taizuu wouldn't believe it, _couldn't_ believe it. Such people did not exist –except in fairy tales, and those he discounted as so much trash.

Real life was about money…and power. Nothing more.

"No? And why not, young man? You know we Asians always appear to be much younger than we actually are," D teased his captive audience, laying a soothing hand on his arm.

"Bull! And take your hand off me!" Neo Chinatown's owner jerked back, positive his sleeve was on fire. He turned his head away again, afraid to look this Count in the eyes for any longer…the golden depths were just too appealing, too…

Dangerous.

"You had no trouble believing in the water dragon my grandson inadvertently showed you—why such a problem with me, Taizuu?" Cool fingertips grasped his set jaw and turned him unwillingly back to face the Count. "Am I not convincing enough for you?"

Very dangerous! Taizuu blinked rapidly behind the shielding glasses, hoping the man could not read his face. The feeling that the Count always inspired—the breathless, dizzying rush of emotion that he felt so reluctantly, it welled up now, surging through his veins, till Taizuu could bear it no longer.

"Stop it! Stop it right now, you—you— _you imposter_! Tell me where D is _this minute_ or I'll have Security toss you in the street!"

"Ah. I see. I am not good enough, then." The Count's expression was suddenly sorrowful, so much so that Taizuu's heart strings twanged in his chest. He coughed, embarrassed.

"No—no! I didn't mean that, really…it's just—"

"—Simply not good enough. Very understandable, I suppose. After all, I am _not_ the Count you wished to see."

"Damn it, will you stop putting words in my mouth? I don't _wish_ to see him, I just want to know where he _is_ , alright?"

Taizuu scrambled to deny it, not wanting this man to see him caught with his pants down, as it were. His feelings for the owner of this Pet Shop were nothing more than amazed and angry _curiosity_. He had no feelings other than simply a concern that his tenants were making money, money that would then fill his own pockets...damn the man to hell, for even implying otherwise!

"…As his landlord, see?" Taizuu trailed off finally, unconvincing even to his own ears.

"Fufu," golden eyes gleamed with amusement. "Is that _all_ you are to him? Indeed."

The zebra smirked.

Taizuu refused to look around at the sound of muffled giggles in the far corner of the room. Instead, he scooched over, putting some physical distance between him and the man who wasn't his Count.

The hand was back, amethyst fingertips delicately tapping his wrist, making him jerk to attention. The Count smiled again, with outright seduction in those fascinating eyes, and spoke in what could only be called a purr.

"You are leaving me so soon, Taizuu? I shall be sad to see you go."

"Go?" Woo Fei asked, startled. Odd – he hadn't even thought of leaving till now, though he could have sworn that just a moment ago he had desperately wanted to.

Even though he already had his money….odd, indeed.

"But of course. I am sure you are a busy man, with many important tasks before you," D stood up, the rustle of his silks only enhancing the liquid grace of his movements. Taizuu found himself rising from the couch as well, following.

"Why, yes…of course I do!" The landlord stepped forward absentmindedly, so that _he_ was in the Count's personal space this time. "Oh! Pardon!"

"I have no doubt you have important people waiting for you and, since our business here is so successfully concluded, you will wish to go meet them," the Count winked imperceptibly, turning and moving backward toward the door, so that Taizuu followed, a puppet on a string. "Immediately."

"Oh! Ah, yes…yes, I suppose," muttered the landlord, distracted.

Hadn't there been something he wanted to ask? Something about the Count?

He continued walking, various animals scuttling out of way of his feet, shaking his head and sneaking glances at the smaller man beside him.

Such red lips. Such pale skin. Surely this lovely young thing couldn't be a generation older than the Count Taizuu so regularly dealt with?

Not that D didn't look fresh as compared to this man. No, no – they were indeed alike in their appearance. But his Count had never been quite this—this _charming_!

"And I'm positive we'll have the pleasure of your company again soon, yes?" The Count peeped up at his bespectacled companion through a forest of midnight lashes. His fine-boned hand rested on the doorknob.

"Oh—yes! I'll be back, absolutely!" Woo Fei answered urgently, raising his own hand with the intention of clasping the Count's in farewell, for they were standing before the door already, though he wasn't quite sure how they'd gotten there so quickly.

Just a touch, really. Hold his hand. Nothing wrong with that—bidding a tenant goodbye courteously.

The Pet Shop owner deftly evaded Woo Fei's outstretched hand, using his unoccupied hand to wave Taizuu out the door before Neo Chinatown's landlord even realized it was behind him. It shut firmly at his back, a puff of disturbed air raising the close-cut tendrils of hair on his neck.

"Well!" he exhaled with a snort, realizing he'd been had, somehow, and not really liking it.

But, what a beauty! And so charming!

The boss was smiling when he went on his way, a vision in pale silk floating before his eyes. His good mood lasted all the way down to his 1st floor office, when he finally remembered to open the envelope.

A scrap of paper fluttered out, an elegant copperplate scrawl in lavender ink promising "Next week!"

"Oh, I met your landlord today," the elder Count mentioned after he and D had washed up the supper dishes.

"Really? And your impression?" D grinned, in a teasing way that certainly would have convinced Taizuu he was just as 'charming' as his older counterpart.

"Interesting. A fine figure of a man – I've always liked dark-haired men in glasses. _Meganes_ , don't they call them? He could be most…enjoyable," the Count smiled in return, red lips curved in a smile of experience that young D could not yet echo.

D sipped his tea, shuddering delicately at the heat on the tip of his sensitive tongue.

"Well, don't eat him right up, please. I am just getting comfortable here, Grandfather."

"Oh, no. I'll be visiting you again, I'm certain. No need for undue haste."

The Counts sipped their tea in peaceful silence for a moment, till the elder remembered what he had wanted to ask young D this morning.

"Have you heard anything from that foolish detective, Grandson? I was sure he'd be nosing around Neo Chinatown by now."

D…dropped his cup.


End file.
